In this post, I explore my experiences with loss and grief, as well as a concept I learned in therapy. I also talk about dealing with workplace grief.
Sometimes life becomes too overwhelming and I lose control, i.e. the record player flips and starts playing the A-side tracks more and more. It glitches and the music spirals into what feels like a never ending repeat of destructive songs.
I spoke to my older brother about how I was feeling recently, and he told me it sounded like I had been languishing, I wasn’t depressed, or at least didn’t feel depressed. I certainly can’t remember a point where I was particularly sad, helpless or suicidal. I was just apathetic to life and in a constant state of mental inertia.
If I could make one point to remember, it’s that mania is far more dangerous than depression. It shouldn’t be celebrated as something fun or novel. It’s dangerous and it can kill people.
Choosing to specialise in Emergency Medicine with my diagnosis might seem risky. The responsibilities are greater the further you progress in your career, and therefore so does the pressure. With more pressure comes stress, anxiety and the potential to fall unwell.
My compliance with taking tablets varied, and at times when I was younger and more naive, I’d intentionally miss a dose with the hope I’d have more energy and a better mood for the day. This was dangerous…
Although I don’t practice mindful meditation daily, I incorporate mindfulness into my life now more than ever. I find it particularly useful during stressful periods.
If I were to summarise a psychotic episode, I’d say they’re like being in a living nightmare. All your worst fears and insecurities come out in all their forms.
These tactics are commonly used to get as many people to share the information as possible, in turn making them go viral. It is for all intents and purposes unethical and one of my pet peeves on social media.
Would you be happy to be treated by a Doctor who had schizophrenia or bipolar? Would you want to receive care from a Nurse who suffered from crippling anxiety and depression?