Depression – The Manic Medic

Part 12: The B-side to my Bipolar

Sometimes life becomes too overwhelming and I lose control, i.e. the record player flips and starts playing the A-side tracks more and more. It glitches and the music spirals into what feels like a never ending repeat of destructive songs.

Part 11: A “meh” state of mind for The Manic Medic

I spoke to my older brother about how I was feeling recently, and he told me it sounded like I had been languishing, I wasn’t depressed, or at least didn’t feel depressed. I certainly can’t remember a point where I was particularly sad, helpless or suicidal. I was just apathetic to life and in a constant state of mental inertia.

Part 10: Mania and Me

If I could make one point to remember, it’s that mania is far more dangerous than depression. It shouldn’t be celebrated as something fun or novel. It’s dangerous and it can kill people.

Part 7: Psychosis and Me

If I were to summarise a psychotic episode, I’d say they’re like being in a living nightmare. All your worst fears and insecurities come out in all their forms.

Stigma surrounding mental illness amongst healthcare professionals

Would you be happy to be treated by a Doctor who had schizophrenia or bipolar? Would you want to receive care from a Nurse who suffered from crippling anxiety and depression?

Bonnie, the Golden Retriever who couldn’t retrieve

Bonnie was our family dog, who joined us in September 2006. She died peacefully on my brother’s lap in November 2019. She was an incredible dog.

Part 5: Dealing with grief with a mental illness

He passed away the night before my 21st birthday, and just days before I had a psychotic relapse.

Part 4: Living with a diagnosis of Bipolar Affective Disorder

For me my mental health is like a muscle. Sometimes it needs to tear in order to grow stronger, and more stable.

Part 2: Confusion in paradise

I was beyond reasoning with. I was irrational. And ultimately I was psychotic. This was serious.

Part 1: The delusional drug

“I soon became very low in mood and I vividly remember suddenly breaking down in tears in front of my whole family at the dinner table, without being able to say what was causing me such upset.”