Psychosis – The Manic Medic

Part 12: The B-side to my Bipolar

Sometimes life becomes too overwhelming and I lose control, i.e. the record player flips and starts playing the A-side tracks more and more. It glitches and the music spirals into what feels like a never ending repeat of destructive songs.

Part 11: A “meh” state of mind for The Manic Medic

I spoke to my older brother about how I was feeling recently, and he told me it sounded like I had been languishing, I wasn’t depressed, or at least didn’t feel depressed. I certainly can’t remember a point where I was particularly sad, helpless or suicidal. I was just apathetic to life and in a constant state of mental inertia.

Part 10: Mania and Me

If I could make one point to remember, it’s that mania is far more dangerous than depression. It shouldn’t be celebrated as something fun or novel. It’s dangerous and it can kill people.

Part 8: Self-care and relapse prevention

Although I don’t practice mindful meditation daily, I incorporate mindfulness into my life now more than ever. I find it particularly useful during stressful periods.

Part 7: Psychosis and Me

If I were to summarise a psychotic episode, I’d say they’re like being in a living nightmare. All your worst fears and insecurities come out in all their forms.

Part 5: Dealing with grief with a mental illness

He passed away the night before my 21st birthday, and just days before I had a psychotic relapse.

Part 4: Living with a diagnosis of Bipolar Affective Disorder

For me my mental health is like a muscle. Sometimes it needs to tear in order to grow stronger, and more stable.

Part 3b: Sleepless highs

I would toss and turn, listen to music, attempt meditation techniques. Nothing helped. It then came to my attention that perhaps sleep was no longer necessary for me. After all, I didn’t feel tired at any point throughout the night. My thoughts were getting faster and faster and I felt good.

Part 3a: Sleepless highs

I drank a lot of alcohol. However, I felt incredible, and I felt confident, strong and unstoppable. I was what people would describe in the social context, as ‘on form’.

Part 2: Confusion in paradise

I was beyond reasoning with. I was irrational. And ultimately I was psychotic. This was serious.